The Copper Tree

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Divorce is never easy

Posted on 20.10.13, about

Divorce is never easy and the damage done can last a lifetime. Often it is the children who are left to count the cost. Stuck in the middle or pushed to the margins. Whilst grown-ups score points and look to survive, children can be left to drift through the debris of their own lives, desperate for love and with an ever deepening, unexpressed need to make sense of it all.

The parents of divorce often under-estimate the impact separation can have on their children. Caught up in their own pain they often fail to take account of how two angry voices, drifting in the dark, muffled by walls and closed doors can plant frighteningly dark images into the minds of their children. These images distort dreams and lonely ruminations can easily intrude into waking.

Friends may try to help but understanding is difficult and too often other children give the grief stricken a wide birth. The result of this can mean that already vulnerable children feel isolated and confused.

For the child of divorce left to grieve alone, self blame is an obvious result and any effort to help them accept their innocence must be supported.

This book represents a celebration of a child’s right to be heard and for explanations to be tailored to meet their needs. Written in simple language with a gentle nuance of humour and love, Tom’s Sunflower is a teeny triumph.